Don't Come to Work Today

I had just finished a call to the sitter to make sure that she was on her way. Then, my phone rang and my boss asked, "are you on your way to the club?" I said, "No, why is something wrong?" She said, "stay home, we've canceled due to bad weather." I hope she couldn't hear the level of excitement on my end of the line. I tried to be professional, but I was so happy to know that I was getting the afternoon off. Our lives have been so rushed lately. I go here, run there, trade off with Jim with the children, meet Jim and trade off again, give lessons, work at the club, homeschool (have I mentioned chasing a one year old little boy) etc. Last night we actually met at my mom and dad's house. We usually drive to church separately on Wednesday nights, but I think Jim was afraid he wouldn't get even a moment with me unless he hopped in the car that I was driving. Even then, we were doing business. Go to the bank, go to practice, pick up egg orders, etc. (peanutbutter easter eggs, no we aren't raising chickens YET..lol) Thankfully we had a moment before going home to have a sandwich at Subway. Alana had asked if she could have a sub for dinner, since she had heard that the two of us had eaten at Subway at some point during the weekly madness. It was a nice moment that we all had together. And Mr. Micah loves Subway as well. I don't think we are too far off from having to order him a sandwich. (okaya, that was a little bit of a rabbit trail). So, needless to say, when my boss called today, I was very pleased to have the day off. I didn't do anything except sit down and try to relax. No, I didn't even watch T.V. I just wanted some peace and quiet. For a moment this evening, I had some feelings of guilt for not taking the extra time to pull things together here at the house, but that guilt only lasted for a second. Because I was able to slow down a little today, I feel like I can conquer tomorrow.

Sometimes, it's not until I get still and quiet, that it hits me just how fast-paced life can be. No one is going to give you time. We are allotted 24 hours in a day. Some days I use that time wisely, other days it feels like no matter what I do it's still not enough time and other days, you'd think that I was deliberatley trying to waste time. I always have good intentions, but the truth is, the balance just isn't always there. I find that I get weary, weepy, annoyed, restless and probably many other things. I'm sure my husband could paint a more realistic picture of me during these times..lol. I definitley do not do well when I'm sleep deprived. I also don't sleep well under the stress. So, being more busy or engaging in even more activity or volunteering for yet another event obviously isn't the answer. But how do I slow down when I'm just driven to do more and more and more. The answer can't be quiting, giving up or even avoiding new activites. As others would say, 'adding more to my plate." For me the answer is just taking moments during my day where I just stop and take a moment to be peaceful, thankful and humbled again. The days that I feel like I've overdone it or have too much on my plate are also the days that when I stop and reflect I realize that I've done everything in my own strength. So many times I start my day off with a conversation with God and great intentions of letting him lead my day. But somewhere along the way, whether it's during a poopy diaper change or a math lesson with a second grader who is not so happy with her teacher, I get consumed with my own feelings of how I wanted things to go and before I know it, I've totally forgotten God was even present. I no longer look to him and begin to look to myself for strength. When will I ever learn? Well the truth is, I'm learning every day and every step of the way. Some nights I look back on the day and feel so accomplished. Other days, not so much. But the truth is, no one ever said that everything I have taken on would be easy every second of the journey. I don't want anything to change except for myself. I pray that I become stronger in learning to stop and take moments to be thankful for this beautiful life I've been given and to be reminded daily that God's strength is perfect when my strength is completely gone.

I certainly need to take some moments for some peace and quiet other than when I'm called and told not to go into work. That's the key for me. Giving myself the time that I need. Remembering that each day is a gift from God, opening that gift and enjoying all of the beauty that he's placed inside. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. It will be another great gift that I will recieve happily. Nothing like being a wife, mother, homeschool teacher, etc. there's nothing like it in this Great big world.