I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears Psalms 34:4

What a week!  I'm so glad to be able to post to my blog. 

This past Thursday night seemed to throw my world into fast and unexpected motion.  After experiencing a mild headache and confusion most of the day, I began to have the most intense and severe pain on the left side of my head that I had ever experienced before.  Jim loaded us all up (the family)  and drove me to the local ER and it felt as if our world was literrally spinning out of control.  My head felt as if it would explode, BP was extremely high, I couldn't answer simple questions and couldn't feel the left side of my face or body. I had an ER doctor look at my husband Jim, and my Father, David and say, "I'm hoping for the best, but it's very possible that she has had a stroke."  He was standing directly in front of me and I just wanted to leap out of my bed and say, "This is not so, I will overcome this!" But, there was no leaping as I was suffering from severe weakness and a frozen sensation on the left side of my body.  Before being transported by ambulance the same doctor came back in the room and said, "Listen, there is a possibility that this could be a form of a migraine that can cause temporary paralysis and that's what I'm hoping we find that it is. But, we have to run test and know for sure."  I was transported by ambulance to Tallahassee Memorial Hospital and admitted for 24 hours for observation and underwent a number of  tests to rule out things such as TIA or stroke.  I held it together.  I kept hearing odd medical terminology that wasn't familiar to me and that just seem to breed fear.  My parents and husband's phone rang constantly and beeped with text messages from people offering prayer and support and encouragement to not accept bad news but to believe and hope for the best.  At that point I have to admit, I was just praying that it WAS NOT a stroke. I was feeling like any diagnosis (other than a stroke) would be good news at that point. (yes, I thought that, I'm only human)

After about 30 minutes, I knew that I was starting to feel a change in the level of weakness on the left side of my body and after a few hours I was beginning to feel even more improvement and so I just kept telling every doctor and therapist that I saw, "I feel stronger, I'm feeling a change."  They would all just look at me and nod as though they were unsure they believed me and would say, "hopefully, that MRI and MRA that is pending will come back normal."  I went thru the same exam over and over and over again.  "squeeze my hand." "Squeeze really hard, hard, harder, come on give me all you have." It never seemed to be enough.  The left side was just much weaker than the right. After seeing an Occupational Therapist and describing what I do on a daily basis, I became saddened, and troubled because at that point, I couldn't stand or keep my balance on my own.   Her comment was, "We've got to get your left side working so that you can play that piano again and function well enough to homeschool that little girl and keep up with your son.  You need to take care of yourself right now."  I had a moment of deep sorrow and pain.  I missed my children terribly and just wanted a hug from them.  Thankfully, Jim and my mother were by my side at that low point.  As Jim leaned in and embraced me and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips, I reverted back to the thoughts of "I know I'm feeling stronger," and "I have more control than I had even an hour ago."  After that, I just started declaring victory.  Every time I would talk to a nurse or therapist, I would say, "I'm feeling stronger than I felt an hour ago."  Finally around 9:00 p.m. the nuerologist confirmed that the MRI and MRA were negative and that I HAD NOT experienced a stroke.  However, that didn't mean the battle was over.  Now we just knew what we were and were not fighting.  The neurologist believes that I suffered a Complex Migraine which caused temporary paralysis on the left side of my face and body.  I had drooping in my face and could not move the left side at all.  Even as I regained my strength a few hours after the incident, I could not form a complete smile.  But, I just kept trusting God.  I also couldn't lift my left eyebrow (my signature) and the moment I was able to smile and lift my left eyebrow we all kind of giggled.  I had a Great Aunt who had called to check on me and the first thing she said was, "she's just not Shannan without those great facial expressions, especially her signature eyebrow lift." What can I say? I've always been expressive with my face.  Some people love it, other people think I'm too expressive..but I'm just the "ME" that HE created me to be.  I'm so thankful today that I felt like getting out of my home, even if it was for an appointment.  Even after being released from the hospital I unfortunately ended up dealing with a migraine until late Sunday evening.  I still needed some answers that I wasn't given and so Monday even though I wasn't up to it, I had to start over with Doctor's appoinments and trying to get answers. Sometimes, I think that is just as much a challenge.  Monday, I was starting to feel somewhat normal again and today I've struggled with a light migraine, but nothing that some Excedrin Migraine can't help.  I will be undergoing a "sleep deprived EEG" in the morning.  I will be up all night in order to get this test done.  However, once that test is complete, I will be able to begin a migraine prevention medication. There is also still some concern about my blood pressure, but I am trusting that God has that part in his hands.

I hesitated posting about what happened on Thusday night, but decided that it was appropriate.  So many people have called, texted, facebook messaged me, etc. out of concern.  The situation was a scarry one to say the least, but one that brings GLORY and HONOR to the power of GOD.  I have to give testimony and share that once again my God has been faithful to His child.  Life's journey was never promised to be easy.  Sometimes we get caught up in what my husband calls "Stinking Thinking", aka thinking that if we face a trial or undesirable circumstances, that we've done something wrong, are being judged, or our faith is weak.  But those things aren't what it's about at all.  I'm realizing each and every day that it's all about who's hand we take during each trial and who we put our trust in during times of need and that when focus is put on something bad that's happening, when HE turns it around, we should be ready to shout it from the rooftops. One particular moment from Thursday evening sticks out.  It was when I was taken back and Jim and my Father were trying to get the children situated. I ended up being in the room with just the nurses and Doctor for quite some time becasue Jim was completing paperwork and my dad was taking the children to my mother. It was a tough moment, but GOD was there.  Not for one second did I feel alone.  Once I started getting some relief from the excruciating pain, I was able to start praying out loud. I literally began to call upon the Lord.  At one point the Doctor asked me if I was saying his name because I wasn't getting the relief I needed, and said, "No sir, I'm calling on his name because he always answers me."  He smiled and said, "I undersand." 

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears Psalms 34:4

Thanks for the prayers and reading my post.  I just wanted GOD to get the credit and praise HE deserves.